Scrapping Hiatus... progress report...
It's now been almost 4 weeks since I've scrapped anything. How am I feeling?
Scared:
I've now gotten used to being surrounded by scrap stuff and not indulging. I want to go back to scrapbooking, but everyday that I don't jump back in, it gets easier to think about not going back. Mind you, there is no way in this fuzzy blue planet that I'd let my stash go to waste! I WILL return, I'm just afraid that it will be like starting over. I really want to get my hands on the Deluxe Designs Pages by Design Template kit! I've run out of sketch ideas, yup... tapped out at 45 sketches! If I had that I'd at least be able to play with the notion of scrapbooking more.
Still a little Angry:
I put myself out there and poured myself into someplace...and I got kicked in the teeth. I am getting over that but that doesn't mean that I don't still feel a little tingle of anger when I think of all that I could've brought to the site had I been given half of a chance. But honestly, if my personality is not understood, I guess that means that I'm not meant to be allowed into the "family". Oneday, when I grow up, I'm going to let go of this juvenile need for acceptance and validation. Until then, I'll deal with my anger. Oneday, store owners will understand and be able to differentiate between a person committed to a site and a person committed to a DT call. The easiest way to tell that is by how much they put into the site during and after the call. Nothing makes me angrier than to see a site where the newly appointed DT have reduced the frequency of their presence on the site down to the bare minimum, meanwhile the loyalists brush the dust off and try to find reasons to stay on the site that decided that they couldn't do as much for the place as the "popular" scrappers. See... told you I still felt some anger.
Giddy:
This whole thing has taught me that I can have some control over my hobby. I put it on a shelf and despite it's constant crying and begging, I've kept it in it's timeout. Control means a lot to me; I need to have it, without it I lose myself. I came dangerously close last month, I don't intend to do that again. I'm happy that I can now spend time focused on something else. I'm glad that I have found a renewed interest in my book club. I'm glad that I've found time to walk with my son and play with my daughter. I'm glad that when I'm feeling tired, I can just waddle my arse into the bedroom and go to sleep without having to worry about deadlines. I'm ecstatic that there are a handful of people who wish me well and want me to return, they are my lifeline; they are what keeps the possibilities open.
In all, I've learned quite a bit about myself in the past few weeks. I want to learn so much more and I want to get so much more done. This week I am going to focus on over hauling my house so that when I do step back into paper creativity, I won't be distracted by any guilt related to my inability to keep a clean house. The most important thing that I've learned is that scrapbooking doesn't have to be all encompassing and that friends can exist outside of their commonalities.
Scared:
I've now gotten used to being surrounded by scrap stuff and not indulging. I want to go back to scrapbooking, but everyday that I don't jump back in, it gets easier to think about not going back. Mind you, there is no way in this fuzzy blue planet that I'd let my stash go to waste! I WILL return, I'm just afraid that it will be like starting over. I really want to get my hands on the Deluxe Designs Pages by Design Template kit! I've run out of sketch ideas, yup... tapped out at 45 sketches! If I had that I'd at least be able to play with the notion of scrapbooking more.
Still a little Angry:
I put myself out there and poured myself into someplace...and I got kicked in the teeth. I am getting over that but that doesn't mean that I don't still feel a little tingle of anger when I think of all that I could've brought to the site had I been given half of a chance. But honestly, if my personality is not understood, I guess that means that I'm not meant to be allowed into the "family". Oneday, when I grow up, I'm going to let go of this juvenile need for acceptance and validation. Until then, I'll deal with my anger. Oneday, store owners will understand and be able to differentiate between a person committed to a site and a person committed to a DT call. The easiest way to tell that is by how much they put into the site during and after the call. Nothing makes me angrier than to see a site where the newly appointed DT have reduced the frequency of their presence on the site down to the bare minimum, meanwhile the loyalists brush the dust off and try to find reasons to stay on the site that decided that they couldn't do as much for the place as the "popular" scrappers. See... told you I still felt some anger.
Giddy:
This whole thing has taught me that I can have some control over my hobby. I put it on a shelf and despite it's constant crying and begging, I've kept it in it's timeout. Control means a lot to me; I need to have it, without it I lose myself. I came dangerously close last month, I don't intend to do that again. I'm happy that I can now spend time focused on something else. I'm glad that I have found a renewed interest in my book club. I'm glad that I've found time to walk with my son and play with my daughter. I'm glad that when I'm feeling tired, I can just waddle my arse into the bedroom and go to sleep without having to worry about deadlines. I'm ecstatic that there are a handful of people who wish me well and want me to return, they are my lifeline; they are what keeps the possibilities open.
In all, I've learned quite a bit about myself in the past few weeks. I want to learn so much more and I want to get so much more done. This week I am going to focus on over hauling my house so that when I do step back into paper creativity, I won't be distracted by any guilt related to my inability to keep a clean house. The most important thing that I've learned is that scrapbooking doesn't have to be all encompassing and that friends can exist outside of their commonalities.
posted by Essentially Jae' at Tuesday, July 18, 2006
2 Comments:
Chicken - I am totally behind you all the way. If you wanna stop scrapping forever, I still be here kicking your azz for not getting back into it, but at the same time accepting that you don't wanna do it anymore (maybe it's because I wanna inherit all your stash...mwahahahahahahaaaaaa). But seriously - I can't see you not NOT scrapping again. You were born to do it and you will again!
I am alos totally in agreement with what you said about the one just collecting DT appointments, which are the ones - as you so rightly observed - only putting in minimum requirements. If they'd be on my DT I would have chucked them out ages ago.
Glad you enjoy your life without deadlines and you know that we all accept you no matter if you have one, seven, five or none DT spot
Smooooooooch
couldn't have said it better myself. :) (((hugs)))
Post a Comment
<< Home