Here's to friends...
I was reading some of my entries from the past weeks and all I could think was "what the heck was I talking about?". I was in a mood... that's all I can say... the people who get me can comprehend. The whole metaphysical ascension bit freaked me out... I think I need to make sure that I'm not partaking in recreational drug use while I sleep blog.
I am thinking about friendship today. I am so blessed to have wonderful friends that I've met during my time online. Ours is a relationship is not based on the need to please one another, it's purely built on the desire to support and uplift each other. I have to thank all of the women who have been so supportive of me during my trials. I don't think that I would've been able to come this far without their support. Kimmy, Jenn, Sally, Jaks, Maddie, Becks, Dawn, Jane and anyone that I've missed... thank you! I wish I could put into words how much the constant cheering has done for not only my ego, but my sense of self worth. I think I can safely say that I don't need the acceptance of the scrapbooking industry as long as I have the support of the people who care about me. The industry is a finicky, unfeeling machine that is driven by success. Its love for an artist is only as deep as the amount of revenue he/she can toss into their coffers. Friends however will stand by you even when your layout makes their eyes bleed and pat you on the back.
The sad thing is that my focus was so skewed that I didn't even realize that there were so many people who cared about my well being. It wasn't drive. It wasn't determination. It was the oppressed teen in me still striving for the love of those incapable of such a thing. I no longer harbor the bitterness and disdain for those who are in love with the glory and trapse on the fingers of the "little ones" trying to get a little sunshine themselves. Some people need the conditional love and acceptance of the industry to validate themselves. I don't want that anymore, I would take real, living, breathing friends who are willing to be supportive, no matter how sorry I feel for myself. When I look at the way the industry treats the previous "greats" and how much women have to sacrifice to stay in it's golden favour, I can only shake my head.
There is no red carpet, there is not gold-dipped statues, hell, there aren't even ball gowns! I'll take my friends, I'll take my sisters, I'll take my online family. I may never get to meet them but I will never forget how many times I've come close to drowning in my quest for self worth only to have one of them toss me life line AND smack some sense back into my head at the same time.
The industry won't last forever. Nothing does. This craft, this hobby, that will always be around for as long as memories can be treasured. Friends, well, true friendship stands all tests of time and I'm more of a tried and true. I'm sending out the biggest hugs possible to all of the ladies who have once again come to my rescue and saw me through my trials. I'm not completely out of the woods yet, but thanks to you ladies, I know exactly how to get back where I'm supposed to be.
I am thinking about friendship today. I am so blessed to have wonderful friends that I've met during my time online. Ours is a relationship is not based on the need to please one another, it's purely built on the desire to support and uplift each other. I have to thank all of the women who have been so supportive of me during my trials. I don't think that I would've been able to come this far without their support. Kimmy, Jenn, Sally, Jaks, Maddie, Becks, Dawn, Jane and anyone that I've missed... thank you! I wish I could put into words how much the constant cheering has done for not only my ego, but my sense of self worth. I think I can safely say that I don't need the acceptance of the scrapbooking industry as long as I have the support of the people who care about me. The industry is a finicky, unfeeling machine that is driven by success. Its love for an artist is only as deep as the amount of revenue he/she can toss into their coffers. Friends however will stand by you even when your layout makes their eyes bleed and pat you on the back.
The sad thing is that my focus was so skewed that I didn't even realize that there were so many people who cared about my well being. It wasn't drive. It wasn't determination. It was the oppressed teen in me still striving for the love of those incapable of such a thing. I no longer harbor the bitterness and disdain for those who are in love with the glory and trapse on the fingers of the "little ones" trying to get a little sunshine themselves. Some people need the conditional love and acceptance of the industry to validate themselves. I don't want that anymore, I would take real, living, breathing friends who are willing to be supportive, no matter how sorry I feel for myself. When I look at the way the industry treats the previous "greats" and how much women have to sacrifice to stay in it's golden favour, I can only shake my head.
There is no red carpet, there is not gold-dipped statues, hell, there aren't even ball gowns! I'll take my friends, I'll take my sisters, I'll take my online family. I may never get to meet them but I will never forget how many times I've come close to drowning in my quest for self worth only to have one of them toss me life line AND smack some sense back into my head at the same time.
The industry won't last forever. Nothing does. This craft, this hobby, that will always be around for as long as memories can be treasured. Friends, well, true friendship stands all tests of time and I'm more of a tried and true. I'm sending out the biggest hugs possible to all of the ladies who have once again come to my rescue and saw me through my trials. I'm not completely out of the woods yet, but thanks to you ladies, I know exactly how to get back where I'm supposed to be.
posted by Essentially Jae' at Friday, August 11, 2006
4 Comments:
ahhh hun...there is nowhere I would rather be than right here rooting you on. I'm glad that you have realized that you dont' need THEIR validation...heck...I validate you all the time...and smack you just a bit :). Love you dude!!
Big hugs hun, we'll be here - always. Thinking of you, rooting you on and even giving you a smack into reality as and when needed.
Take pride in yourself and your work......your one fabby lady, and I love ya!
Another one here who roots for you all the way ten times over. Listen, stuff the industry - WE need you and don't want to share your with anyone else.
Seriously though dude you so ROCK and I am glad you start believing in yourself without relying on the validation of the industry...most of them would be fake anyway. You are too precious and too good to be wrapped up in it.
I don;t think I make sense, do I?? I think I am a little too tired at the moment but hopefully you got the gist of what I said
Jae your official cheering squad will always be here. WE NEED YOUR HUMANITY! You have a knack of showing us the way to express ourselfs, to share emotions and pleasures, you inspire and motivate us. Forget the "industry" as Kimmy so rightly says most of their sentiments are faulse anyways, for them th buck is queen, not the real scrappers. You are REAL and that is best. Love ya loads.
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